Son two said to his dad: ‘Give me my share of what I ought to get when you die.’ Dad gave part of his cash to this boy, who left home and broughammed [1] to a land miles hence. He spent the loot in wild ways, with drink and girls (some of whom were less than schooled), and much sin.
When the cash was all gone, lack of food struck in the land far away. The boy scraunched down and fed waste to pigs that scratched in the dirt; he longed to put some of their pods his own mouth. He had a thought that shed some light on where he had gone wrong. ‘Dad’s men (he hires them on a day-by-day deal) eat well, yet here I am with no food; I shall go and ask him to let me serve in the farm; I should not be thought of as his son.’ He squelched his way back home.
When he was still a long way off, dad clocked him on the road, and ran to greet him, with splayed arms. He hugged him (each arms had great strengths), shrugged and called for freights – gave him a pair of shoes, put a fine coat on him and a gold ring too; and sang and danced. Had calf killed, put on spit, cooked, sliced and served, where they schnappsed, munched and then schmaltzed to good tunes with all the folk from near the farm.
‘This my son was dead and I was vexed; now he is here and he lives!’ he said with great joy.
1 Brougham (pronounced broom or brohm) refers to an C18th horse-drawn carriage. If travel by cart can be enverbed (is that a word?) carted, then, with max-length monosyllables in mind, I’ll coin broughammed. Also used for Cadillac’s Eldorado Brougham (1957-60) and Fleetwood Brougham ('65-86)
When the cash was all gone, lack of food struck in the land far away. The boy scraunched down and fed waste to pigs that scratched in the dirt; he longed to put some of their pods his own mouth. He had a thought that shed some light on where he had gone wrong. ‘Dad’s men (he hires them on a day-by-day deal) eat well, yet here I am with no food; I shall go and ask him to let me serve in the farm; I should not be thought of as his son.’ He squelched his way back home.
When he was still a long way off, dad clocked him on the road, and ran to greet him, with splayed arms. He hugged him (each arms had great strengths), shrugged and called for freights – gave him a pair of shoes, put a fine coat on him and a gold ring too; and sang and danced. Had calf killed, put on spit, cooked, sliced and served, where they schnappsed, munched and then schmaltzed to good tunes with all the folk from near the farm.
‘This my son was dead and I was vexed; now he is here and he lives!’ he said with great joy.
1 Brougham (pronounced broom or brohm) refers to an C18th horse-drawn carriage. If travel by cart can be enverbed (is that a word?) carted, then, with max-length monosyllables in mind, I’ll coin broughammed. Also used for Cadillac’s Eldorado Brougham (1957-60) and Fleetwood Brougham ('65-86)
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