Anglo-Catholic

terminology

Claiming undue amounts of Altarage, the son made an Assumption [1] about the Apostolic Succession, demanding his Christening Collection, until he had a Surplice. He had a Magnificat time, and Lapsed into spending. Every day was Lady Day (sometimes Rood). Screening out that having Stolen the money was a Syn. OD’d on wildness, damaging the Lady’s place, and rector. What a kNave! The Prebendary[2]’s Announciation was for ‘his acre’, and some Rogation Days[3]; but no one knew what ‘hiS acra’ment.

He took a job in a Porcine Cathedral, feeding pigs a Mass of rotting pods; they made a noise like SacristyBiretta LiturgyRheredos. But eventually he received inspiration like a flash of eLectionary, and decided to take Sanctuary at home. He would ask to be a hired man but feared that Chance’ll be a fine thing. 

Like a Novice, he practiced his Catechism, as he wanted to make a Solemn Vow of Penance, lest he be Excommunicated ‘ere Evensong.

His father saw him while he was still a long way off (Holy See) and ran to greet him. ‘Nunc Dimittis[4],’ the boy began, Meekly kneeling upon his knees but the father was Religious, giving him Vestments, denying Discalceation[5]. ‘I thought you’d Miss al[6]l the celebrations…

‘Oh, Brother, let’s Feast on the Bull! Call in the choir and we’ll have a Canticle and an Anthem: Te Deum Laudamus[7]. Open Matins of corned beef, followed by café au Laity.’

[1] commemorating the Blessed Virgin Mary’s ascension 

[2] Clergy receiving a stipend 

[3] prayers for agricultural blessing 

[4] Lord, now lettest thou thy servant 

[5] removal of footwear 

[6] liturgical formulae 

[7] We praise thee, O Lord