Fiscal terms (money talks)

currencies and slang words for money

‘Aye, there’s the Rub! Let me have my inheritance, now, father!’

His father said ‘Here’s a little more than a Quarter of what I own. It’s the best I can Do.’

Shame did not stop the boy from taking took the cash and he went, with a Swagger, to Dissipation City’s casBah. There he began to spend with abandon in the Grand Hotel.

The doYenne of his ‘friends’ was handSome, while one of the younger girls (outstanding curvature) was Really pretty – a Doll. ‘Are we going to dinner, Bill?’ He agreed anD, in a riotous state, overspent wildly, often taking a Punt, or going on a picnic. Kelly had a deep suntan. Nervously, he wondered if she might like him. But suddenly, it was unlikely nowadays, since he’d lost all his cash, and this had driven a wedge between them.

In fact, everyone lost many Pounds, as there was a famine, and the land was depoPulated. His tummy rumbled, as there was no food in his Colon.

He took a job tending pigs. He longed to eat the Gourdes the pigs were given, despite the vile stink that eManated, since they were rather Marked and manKy.

At this he wondered… was this a psychonEurotic episode? Was his psyche expressing agro at this, his naDir? ‘Ha! My father’s men!’

Yes, God was speaking to the boy, reflecting his Sovereignty. ‘Do you not knoW? One of your father’s hired men (in fact every one of them!) eats better than you!’ Bill needed no meTalanguages to understand these words.

 He planned to say I’m not worthy to be a son, whiLe very abLe, keen to work for you. HumbLe, upset, ready. Going home was a tRial, as he had to use Shank’s Pony.

While he was still a long way off – at least as far as thiS hill – in great joy his father (Bob) saw him. He threw his Birretta ofF, ran, cried out ‘My son!’ (he moved swiftly and took, after thE scud) opportunity to hug him. He was the kissing tyPe.

‘Some mucLuc (real leather) for his feet! And give him a macKinaw, a Gold (standard sized) ring for his finger. Kill the bRanded calf!’ Of all the 180 degree turns the son could have made, this was the 59th way to reSpond: U-LIX.

At the party there was Bread, made from a soft, light Dough, delicately fried sQuid in tempura, canapés, (plus a Lolly for each child) and boiled cabbage, served with a Zlotyd spoon. In addition, there were peaches in syRup, eel and Buck rabbit stew, meringue tart with leMon, key lime pie, macaroonS, cored apples, a currant Bun, grapes and two bits of cheese, with crackers and a bun.

Centerpiece of the table was, strangely, Half a crow.

Next, the drummer crashed his cymBal boastfully at the music played by a Brass band and the guests were served a wee Dram.

‘We thought he was dead! What a prize we have Won! Gave thanks before, but now wilL I randomly shout: Halleujah!’

slang & casual terms asterisked; country currency used indicated thus (date shows when replaced by Euro); obselete terms marked ob. 

Ruble Abkhazia, Belarus, Russia, South Ossetia, Transnistria

Quarter (US coin) Dosh* Swag* Baht Thailand Grand* (1000 units) Yen Japan Som Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan Vatu Vanuatu Real Brazil Dollar Antigua & Barbuda, Australia, Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Bermuda, Brunei, Canada, Dominica, East Timor, Ecuador, El Salvador, Fiji, Grenada, Guyana, Jamaica, Jordan, Kinbati, Liberia, Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Namibia, Nauru, New Zealand, Palau, Panama, St Kitts & Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent & the Grenadines, Singapore, Solomon Islands, Suriname, Taiwan, Trinidad & Tobago, USA, Zimbabwe Bill* (individual note) Dinar Iraq, Kuwait Punt Republic of Ireland-2002 Nickel (US coin, 10c) Tanner* Wad* Wedge*

Pound Egypt, Lebanon, Sudan, UK, Zimbabwe Pula Botswana, Zimbabwe Colón Costa Rica

Gourde Haiti Manat Turkmenistan Mark Bosnia & Herzegovina, Estonia,  Finland-2002, Germany-2002, Namibia

Kyat Myanmar Euro Austria, Belgium, Cyprus, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Kosovo, Luxembourg, Malta, Montenegro, the Netherlands, Portugal, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain Groat* Dirham Western Sahara

Sovereign* (ob. UK gold coin worth £1) Won South Korea Tala Samoa Lev Bulgaria

Lek Albania Leu Moldova, Romania Rial Iran pony* (UK £25)

Shilling Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda Bob* (ob. UK coin 1 shilling) Franc Benin, Burkina Faso, Burundi, Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad, Republic of the Congo, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Comoros, Côte d'Ivoire, Djibouti, Equatorial Guinea, France-2002, Gabon, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Liechtenstein, Mali, Niger, Rwanda, Senegal, Switzerland, Togo Peso Argentina, Chile, Colombia, Cuba, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Philippines, Uruguay

Lucre* Kina Papua New Guinea Gold Standard (value system) Rand South Africa Spondulix*

Bread* Dough* Quid* Lolly* Zloty Poland Rupee Burma, India, Mauritius, Nepal, Pakistan, Seychelles, Sri Lanka Buck* (US dollar) Monkey* (500 units) Score* (20 units) Bung* Two Bits* (US quarter) Bunce*

Half a Crown (ob. UK coin worth two shillings & sixpence (12.5p))

Balboa Panama Brass* Dram Armenia

Wonga* Lira Italy-2002