staging a performance, but casting unwisely?
character description miscast in the role
Farmer Palmer A wealthy, generous land owner: observant, emotional Keano Reeves
Jack His young son. He is impetuous, yet susceptible to revelations Harrison Ford
Leggy Linda Beautiful showgirl Lily Savage
Lips Letitia Vivacious showgirl Andie MacDowell
Chesty Morag Blue-collar showgirl Keira Knightley
Bert Jovial barman Jack Dee
Waiter 1 Clumsy, awkward Gene Hackman
Waiter 2 Slimy, efficient Al Pacino
Mr Rottedpod Owner, Hogs-U-Like Adam Goldberg
*Buttercup Fatted Calf
Sir Ian McKellen front Dame Helen Mirren rear
Jarvis Servant Michael Barrymore
*Buttons Malloy Haut Couture designer Vinnie Jones
*Fingers Ingersoll Jewellery advisor Stevie Wonder
*Brassy Buckle Cobblers to the gentry Brian Sewell
*Mr & Mrs Jones Party Guests
Kenneth Branagh & Lorraine Kelly
*Mr & Mrs Brown Party Guests
Lester Piggott & Angelina Jolie
*Mr & Mrs Smith Party Guests Ben Affleck & Lisa Minelli
Commis Chef, polite Gordon Ramsay
Musicians Party Band
The Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain
* non-speaking part
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