Peanut butter sandwiches

children’s storybook with • mummy’s interjections and questions

Once upon a time there was a happy farmer named Farmer Giles. He was a very rich man and had a big, big farm.

On his farm he had cows (moo, moo) and sheep (baa, baa).

• How many sheep can you see? Mummy asks. Yes, ten!

And on his land he grew barley, oats but mostly wheat.

• Do you know what lovely thing to eat we can make with wheat? Yes, that’s right, we can make bread for sandwiches, or cakes, or spaghetti, or meusli, depending on which bit we use. You like meusli for breakfast, don’t you? Oh, yes, wheat is very useful.

And in his farmyard the farmer had ducks on the pond, (quack quack), cats in the barn (mieow) and his faithful dog Towser by his side (woof woof).

Now, Farmer Giles has two sons; one called Ernest, which is a quite nice name, even though it’s a bit old-fashioned. The other son is called Waster.

• That’s an unusual name, isn’t it?

Another fine sunny day dawned. There were lots of jobs to do, down on the farm. The cows had to be rounded up and milked and then sent back to pasture. The sheep were given their drive-through bath and then were allowed to get busy, mowing the lawn. The goats had to be looked after, too. The crops were growing in the fields, and needed a little care and attention, and meanwhile the ducks were splashing in the pond, (quack, quack) the cats were sleeping in the barn (purrrr) and Towser was standing faithfully at Farmer Giles’ side (woof woof).

• Can you see the cats in the barn?

• Which crops do you think are growing the best?

Once the work was done, Ernest went to see some friends, but Waster went to speak to his father.

‘Dad,’ he said, ‘I have made a decision. I am a bit fed up with living here, working for you, doing chores and having to do as I’m told. So what I’d like you to do is to gather up all the money that you would leave for me when you die, and let me have it now.’

It was a very strange thing to ask, but the Farmer loved his son. ‘I will give you your share of my wealth, my boy,’ he said. It did make him rather sad, though.

Next day, before sunrise, Waster got up and packed his things. He said goodbye to his dad, to Ernest and to Towser (he didn’t say goodbye to the cats, as they were asleep, and only a foolish person would talk to ducks), and he set off.

He had all his money wrapped up in a red and black-spotted handkerchief tied on the end of a stick. He also took a packed lunch – fizzy pop, and peanut butter sandwiches – his favourite. He marched out of the farmyard, up the lane, across the meadow and up the road to the top of the distant hill to the old tree that everyone said was a funny shape.

• Can you see the tree? What shape do you think it looks like? That’s a funny shape for a tree, isn’t it?

Waster didn’t look back, strode past the tree, and went on his way. After a few days’ walking, he arrived in the Big City, where he soon met people who were very happy to help him spend his money. He bought plenty of peanut butter sandwiches and lashings of fizzy pop, and went to shows almost every night and learned some new card games and bought some toys and met lots and lots of interesting people. Everyone was glad to see him, and even more glad to see his money, which they started to spend very eagerly and very quickly.

One day, Waster noticed that the black and red spotted handkerchief was getting rather empty, and that most of his money was gone. He bought another peanut butter sandwich to help him think, and as he munched, he read the local newspaper. The headline said ‘Hunger Warning.’ Waster read on. ‘There will be a famine in this land very soon, so get ready to be hungry.’

• Oh dear. Just when his money had run out, too!

Next day, he didn’t have a peanut butter sandwich or any fizzy pop so Waster decided to sell his red and black spotted handkerchief, and with the money he bought one last peanut butter sandwich and a small glass of fizzy pop.

The day after that, Waster was hungry, and all the people who had pretended to be his friends ran away when they found out that he had no money left.

• They weren’t really his friends at all, were they?

After a week or two of being very hungry, Waster eventually found a terrible job looking after pigs, and he was so hungry that he was almost about to eat some of the smelly thrown-out food scraps. Those pigs were being fed on nasty, stale half-eaten peanut butter sandwiches made damp with tiny drops of fizzy pop that had gone flat.

• They would have tasted horrible, wouldn’t they?

But instead, Waster suddenly realised what he should do. ‘I know what I must do!’ he said. ‘I will get up, go back home to my dad at the farm and tell him how sorry I am for being so selfish. I will ask him if I can work for him like one of the farmhands.’ His tummy rumbled very loudly.

He started the journey home at once, without saying goodbye to the pigs (because talking to pigs is almost as foolish as talking to ducks), and without saying goodbye to the pig farmer, either, which was a bit rude, but Waster was in a hurry. He walked and he trudged and he ran a little and walked again; then he hiked, strolled, marched and walked some more (it was long way home).

By the time he got to the old tree that everyone said was a funny shape, his shoes were worn out. One of them fell off, as the sole had worked loose. He couldn’t walk with one shoe on and one shoe off, so he threw them both away and walked in bare feet. Well, this was a bit painful, so he sort of ambled, tottered, shuffled and staggered.

• Can you see him in the distance?But look, who is that, up there on the rooftop, looking out for him?

While he was still a long way off, Farmer Giles spotted Waster coming up the road. He ran to meet Waster, and Towser ran along beside him (woof woof). Farmer Giles hugged Waster. In his excitement, Towser jumped up a few times (woof woof woof woof woof!). ‘Get down, Towser!’

The farmer kissed Waster and gave him a coat and a ring and some brand new shoes.

• Look, he’s wearing the ring! That’s a big coat, isn’t it? What sort of shoes were they? And can you see the big brass buckle?

Waster was just going to say ‘Dad, I am so sorry that I have been foolish and spent all the money. Please let me come and work on the farm as one of the farmhands, tending the crops, milking the cows and looking after the farmyard…’ But before he could say any of that, his father welcomed him and forgave him and made it clear to everyone that his son had returned.

• He’s a very kind farmer, isn’t he? How can you tell that Waster was being welcomed back into the family?

Farmer Giles threw a great party, inviting everyone locally to come and join in the fun. They played Twister, Ludo, skittles and Snap and the musicians played all evening, with fiddles and accordions, a packing-case bass and a drummer, too.

• Can you see what the drums were made from? What a noise!

The ducks quacked along, and the cats couldn’t get to sleep because it was so loud! What a shame! Farmer Giles made a speech, toasting his son with glasses of fizzy pop. ‘My son was lost, but now he’s found! We thought he was dead, but now he’s alive again! Rejoice! Do please tuck in.’

Camp fires burned merrily all evening, and there was dancing and laughter. To eat, Farmer Giles arranged for a spit-roast for everyone to enjoy, with plenty of cake as well. And right in the middle of the long row of trestle tables was a huge jug of fizzy pop and the biggest plate you ever did see, piled high with…

• Can you guess? Yes, of course you can!