21-syllable sentences

Young son asked for his inheritance immediately so his dad gave him the cash.

He quickly set off for Dissipation City, where he began to waste the money. Wild living: girls, drinking, swanky restaurants, gambling and extravagances galore.

Soon the lad had an empty purse: famine struck the land, so he took a job tending pigs. He watched them with envy as they ate their moulding pods; just then he came to his senses.

‘My father’s hired men eat well; I shall arise and return home to ask to work for him. I realize I’ve been a fool, and I am no longer worthy to be called a son.’

He was still a long way off when his watchful father saw him and ran to greet his son.

‘Servants! Fetch a coat for him, and shoes for his feet; lad, receive this gold ring as a sign. Kill the fatted calf; celebrate, for my son was dead, he lives; was lost but is now found!’

Full circle

   word length determined by the value of pi [1]

3.1 4 1 5 9      ‘Son. I have a bonus-financial

2 6 5 3 5 8      to freely offer.’His smile secretly

8 9 7 9 3 2      concealed painful sacrifice. But to

3 8 4 6 2 6      the alluring city Thomas (an enigma)

 4 3 3 8 3 2      went for the gambling, and to

7 9 5 0 2 8      various showgirls. Spent! Nothing to exchange

8 4 1 9 7 1      fiscally when (O punishing agonies!) a

6 9 3 9 9 3      fierce nutrition- and companion shortfall was

 7 5 10 5 8      hurting badly. Employment found: reverent

2 0 9 7 4 9     to no heritages – porkers that unfussily

4 4 5 9 2 3      took pods. Sadly, pitifully, he had

                0      none.

7 8 16 4 0     Genuine insights… (supernaturalness) Flee, zero!

4 0 6 2 8 6      Idea: Not remain, go homeward humbly.

    20 8 9 9     Overenthusiastically, watchful fathering giftgiver

8 6 2 8 0 3      embraces, kisses. To prodigal no bad

4 8 2 5 3 4      word; provider of shoes and ring.

 2 11 7 0 6      ‘In celebration exclude none! Fatted

        7 9 8      animals. Wonderful, restored

       21 4 8     contemporaneousnesses… We’re thankful!’

[1] Taking 0 loosely; inspired by Ἀεὶ ὁ θεὸς ὁ μέγας γεωμετρεῖ τό σύμπαν Always the great God applies geometry to everything which is a mnemonic for π: the first word is three greek letters long, then one, then four, etc

Mohican hairstyle

A son took his inheritance, wasting it all on wild living. Then a severe famine struck the land. He took a job tending pigs, and found himself longing to eat their food. Then he came to his senses: ‘Dad’s hired men eat well; I shall go home and say Father, I am no longer worthy to be called a son – please make me one of your hired men.’ So he set out, but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and ran to greet him. He gave kisses, a coat, shoes and a ring. ‘Kill the fatted calf! Let’s celebrate. My son was lost, but now is found. He was dead, but now he’s alive! Oh may God be forever praised!’

Unilexical progression

once a word is used, it may not be used again. Similar to the rule in Just a Minute: no repetition

One day John approached father, asking ‘Please give me my inheritance.’

Pa agreed. The boy took every penny with him, going towards Dissipation City.

Spending freely, Jack made friends (various girls) as they gambled, feasted, drank and revelled in abandonment. Soon all wealth spent; companions disappeared too. Famine struck that land.

Youngster found job tending pigs, longing for their food.

Suddenly, came to his senses. ‘Hirelings at home get three square meals every day. I’ll return, humbled, seeking employment, not sonship, as I’m no longer worthy.’

Arising, J travelled.

But while he was still a long way off Farmer saw, ran, kissed, greeted, gifted with shoes, ring, coat. ‘Kill our fatted calf!’

Villagers celebrated.

‘My son previously thought lost; however, is found. Formerly considered dead; presently understood very much alive! Praise God!’

Identilexical

putting all the words of the story (Greener grass?) into a different order may affect the meaning a little

And when he found him, he ran and was spent… the son came to him.

Celebrated father is killed while worthy shoes demanded his long pods be struck, in no senses. A calf gave his hired coat and a way to a job was a living.

The longer wild pigs knew he was off since he saw money, deciding to be alive and home.

Still lost and a-fatted, the son was tending to ask him to go. ‘Famine took-a my man!’ and inheritance longed to eat his home.

And their left ring called again, ‘This son is dead, he-he-he-he!’

Ough

one combination of letters, multiple pronounciations

The farmer coughed [1] up; his boy took cash and went on furlough [2], leaving the borough [3], riding in a brougham [4]. He behaved not as he ought [5], spending the dough [2] in wild living (he bought [5] drink and food and established thoroughly [3] unwise friendships); soon he was left with nought [5]. A drought [6] brought [5] a famine, and everyone was starving, which was rather rough [7].

The boy took a job feeding pigs and fought [5] off his longing to eat their tough [7] pods direct from the trough [1], even though [2] their skins had been sloughed [7]. Then he had a thought [5] and came to his senses. ‘My father’s workers have enough [7] to eat; I shall return and be one of his hired men, as I am no longer worthy to be called a son.’

He travelled, doughtily [6], ploughed [6] through [4] a slough [6], and sought [5] help as a chough [7] flew by and the wind soughed [7] in the boughs [6]. While he was a long way off, there was a hiccough [8] in his plans. His father saw him beyond the lough [9], and ran off [1] to him. He caught [5] up [8] with him, got hold of him and gave hugs [3], kisses, a new [4] coat (oh [2], without a ruff [7]), a ring (big rock [9]!), shoes (buffed [7] to a shine) and a party, which took [4] place out [6] in the courtyard [5]. He wrought [5] havoc to the fatted calf and said ‘This my son was lost, but is found; he is alive again, although [2] we thought [5] he was dead!’

Rough [7] pronunciation guide:  

[1] off   [2] oh   [3] uh   [4] oo   [5] or  

[6] ow  [7] uff   [8] up   [9] ok (ochh Scottish) 

NB ‘brougham’ is still a form of carriage (and has been since the day of the monsyllbles)

Discount language

developing the same Victor Borge routine, subtracting one from references to numbers within words

No day, number one son started to creseven a fuss, and spoke one his father, asking three his inheritance. His dad looked at him ninederly and gave him the cash. The boy left, nowtdering off one Dissipation City, where he threegot his dad and spent it all in wild living, one-hunded-and-forty-three letchery and zip-£99 behaviour. His friends were greedy and selfish; in fact, they were five of nil and minus-point-five an eleven of the other.

All his singloons were gone; famine struck the land. The boy fed some pigs and longed one eat the pods the pigs were given. He 99p-ed his hand on his threehead, and came one his senses. ‘My father’s hired men eat noderfully well; I shall arise, go home and ask one be an hired man, since lsevenly I’m no longer worthy one be called a son.’

He made his way back, but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him, had be-eight feelings and ran one greet him. He gave him a one-piece suit and a ring, an high four, and one shoe, and then invited his neighbours to a 999 party, where they seven the fatted calf and slices of apple 2.141592653589793, with custard. If they’d lived in different times, they would have danced to the sounds of 9,999 Maniacs, Level 41, East 16, The Stnowt Roses or Dominique, performed by The Singing -1, Haircut99’s hit Love Exactly or Paul Hardcastle’s Er-Er-Er-Er Eighteen.

  

‘This my son was all at fives and sixes, but threetunately is found; he was five feet under, but now, how many things are wrong with him? −274.22 °C!’

Inflationary language

after the stand-up routine of Danish pianist & raconteur Victor Borge, adding one to references to numbers within words

Two day, third son spoke three his father, asking five his inheritance. His dad looked at him elevenderly, and gave him the cash and the boy left home, and twodered off three Dissipation City, where he fivegot his dad and spent it all in wild living, one-hundred-and-forty-five letchery and two hundred-and-one behaviour. His so-called friends were greedy and selfish; in fact, they were seven of two and one-point-five a thirteen of the other.

The triploons were gone; famine struck the land. The boy fed some pigs and longed three eat the pods the pigs were given. He 17ozed his hand on his fivehead and came three his senses. My father’s hired men eat twoderfully well; I shall arise, go home and ask three be a hired man, since lninely I’m no longer worthy three be called a son.’

He made his way back, but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him, had beten feelings and ran three greet him. He gave him a four-piece suit and a ring, an high six, and a trio of shoes, and then invited his neighbours to a thousand-and-one party, where they nine the fatted calf. No-one became intoxicnineted, as they were drinking Eight-Up. In more modern times, they would have danced to something from the 21 of The Fourpenny Opera or from Vivaldi’s Five Seasons, or even a whole evening’s worth of hits by 11CC, Los Quattros Amigos, and Blink-183.

‘Befive, my son was all at sevens and eights, but fivetunately is found; he was seven feet under, but he’s rejuvennineted – there is absolutely one wrong with him!’

Binary

1 = Yes; 0 = No

11

11111 11 111110 000

10

000

1111 0 1111111

01

0101

Which, being interpreted, means:

‘Yes?’

‘Yes.’

‘Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!’

‘Yes, yes!’

‘Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes… no!’

No, no no.

‘Yes? … No.’

‘No, No, No.’

‘Yes? Yes! Yes! Yes!’

‘No?’

‘Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes.’

(No) Yes!

‘No? Yes! No? Yes!’

Anachronism

out of time

Ug the post-neaderthal switched off his Blackberry and scratched on the parchment with his quill pen, having dipped it into an ink made from asbestos dust mixed with dodo blood. He’d transferred one third of his wealth by elecronic banking onto his younger son’s ledger. ‘Grunt, prithee, but don’t forget to take your Filofax, dancing bear and lead make-up, as the girls will like that, grunt.’

The son set off in his hovercraft, and was soon enjoying a wild time in Dissipation Site E, a run-down, far-from state-of-the-art undersea dwelling dome, with casinos, nouvelle cuisine restaurants, Anne Hathaway’s House of Ill Repute, alchemists, on-line blacksmiths and a VineLeaf Clothing Store.

After a while, his cash, credits, pelts, beans, chips and trading tokens ran out; this was spectaculaly unfortunate as there was also a famine at that time.

The boy managed to find a job on the mainland (after searching the papers, FishforPigs.com and being featured in the town-crier’s headlines of the week). He looked after on-the-hoof bacon on the 207th floor of an high-rise development (some call it a sty-scraper), well away from the glaciers that scoured the landscape, and was so hungry he considered eating the rotten podpills they had.

But his internal e.mail system went ‘bing’ and he realised ‘My father’s butler eats well; I could go home to his solar-powered house and ask to work up to my ruff in the peat bog as a comrade in the collective.’

So he stepped aboard a triple-decker monorail trolleybus (his Oyster was charged 2 groats, $9 and 1s 7d for a fourpenny one) and went home. But while he was only just on the old boy’s radar, Ug clocked him and leapt aboard a mammoth and rode out to meet him, using his cell phone to give him a ring. He gave the family salute, put a silver foil blanket on his shoulders, mingled blood to demonstrate his re-acceptance into the family, and gave him a pair of Nike trainers.

He called to his business associates: ‘Grunt. Use your wap-enabled smoke-signalling system to get a catering firm down here – we are going to have a hootenanny, with beef. There’ll also be protein pills, turnips, venison, mutton, braised brachiosaurus, manna, chips wrapped in newspaper, a packet of Spangles, quinoa, BSE-laden burgers, and balsamic vinegar (drizzled on cranberries), served with domes of Smash dispensed via those implements originally designed to put portions of ice cream into cones, plus whatever honeycomb we can forage and some Vesta Beef Curry on lard-fried Wonderloaf.’

He donned a tricorn hat, a large red coat and clanged a handbell, galloping hither and thither upon an EasyRider-style motorbike. ‘Oyez, oyez! For this my boy was as lost as last year’s unicorn, but now he’s found; he was lying atop an funeral pyre as peasants cried bring out your dead! but now he is happily on Facebook and Twitter, so let the proclamation be sent by Inquisitors and Crusaders alike across great distances – yea, on horseback, by longboat, in the Voyager probe, with pigeon-post and by short-wave frequency podcasts on GPS wax cylinders – even to the kingdoms beyond the wood, where be dragons. Grunt.’

Prodigal heteronym (paired)

words spelled the same but pronounced differently, according to meaning, used in pairs

Younger son asks for his inheritance. Dad cashes his savings and proceeds to give him the proceeds. Mouth agape at this agape love, the son decides to appropriate the appropriate funds, and his father does not verbally object to his son being a greedy object. The boy manages to collect with having to say a collect. He gives a bow, puts on a bow tie (although he has to ask a maid to be a tier and arrange the folds of material over each tier of his dress shirt), and decides to close the door and go to a city that isn’t close. He reckons he will desert the farm and cross the savannah, the jungle and the desert.

       

On his way, there are no female deers, so naturally he does not see any does. His cash is soon gone, and he has to refuse refuse girls new stockings (he’s a denier denier). The food runs out, so he weeps and rends his clothes (tears, with tears) and beats himself in punishment for desiring a meal (buffets due to lack of buffets). In a minute, he comes to his senses, and feels minute before a mighty God and several large pigs.

       

Then he patches his clothes, even while he’s in a waste-water pipe (he’s a sewer in a sewer), and thus he dismisses his illness — he considers that being an invalid is invalid. He’s wound a bandage tightly over the wound.

       

He returns slowly to his home – far from taking a moped, he moped. On his journey, he’s keen to amaze and entrance his father at the farm with a speech, but while still a long way from the entrance, the father kisses his son, an intimate act to intimate his acceptance of the lad.  He represents his shoes to him, along with a ring, which represents sonship. The father remembers that the boy took all his cash, but even though he can recollect, he does not attempt to recollect.

       

He’s so proud of his son that he throws an indoor-golf-themed party, putting him up for the pitch and putting.

       

‘Yes, there’s a fine line between lost and found. But rejoice! We thought he was dead, but obviously, he’s fine! We can close the issue now he’s close by.’

       

Some partygoers take a dip in the sea, where the band plays, and while divers divers make a splash, the bass (and carp) listen to the double bass (without criticising). The servants form a workers’ co-operative, which makes them properly unionized, but of course avoid becoming electrically-charged atoms, which means they stay unionized.

proceeds     begins / money from a transaction

agape  open-mouthed: er-gayp / unconditional love: ag-erpay

appropriate  take for himself / correct, suitable

object  argue against / thing, target, purpose

collect   gather / short prayer

bow   bending from the waist / formal neckwear

tier   one who knots: tie-er / one of several layers: tee-er

close    shut / near

desert    abandon / arid plain

does    action: duz / multiple female deer: doughz

refuse    unwilling: ree-f’yuz / rubbish: reff-yooz

denier    fine mesh: den-iay / one who withholds: dee-nigh-ah

tears    multiple rips / lachrymosity; salty drops

buffets    repeatedly strikes: buff-etz / multiple occurances of finger food: boo-fays

minute    60 seconds / tiny

sewer    needleperson: so-er /  waste water outflow: soo-er

invalid      sick person: in-verlid / flawed; not binding: in-vall-id

wound     wrapped in coils /  cut or sore

moped    small-engined bike / gloomy dawdling

entrance       captivate / doorway

intimate    private, personal / hint at

represents     offers again / symbolizes

recollect      remember  / gather again

putting     placing: poot-ing  / golf shot on the green: puh-ting

divers   various (archaic spelling) / high headfirst leapers

bass     species of fish: bas / low-toned instrument: bay-ss

unionised       formed a workers’ collective: u-nion-ised /

                            not electrically charged: un-ion-ised