Lost in Austen

many references to Pride & Prejudice

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must have expressed his want to his father.

Far from vexing his son, he had compassion upon his request, and the lad left in a chaise and four. He was quite young, wonderfully handsome, and in part, extremely agreeable, yet in part, one of the silliest boys in the country.

He met five sisters in whom there was little beauty and no fashion, dear reader, yet he kept a pack of foxhounds, and drank a bottle of wine each day. His composure at that time convinced everyone that he was safe, and his wit flowed long. He had never met with so much attention in the whole course of his life; yet he would by no means suspend any pleasure. Such perseverance in wilful self-deception!

Sad to say, his cash was gone withal; sadder still, famine struck without prejudice.

The lad sat among five pigs, envying that they ate freely. He found he could not solace his wretchedness; one might guess the subject of his reverie.

He came to his senses, and realised his father’s hired men ate well, so he decided to lay down his pride, to return and to ask for employment; he was no longer worthy to be called son. The rest of the evening was spent in conjecturing how soon he would return to his father’s farm, and determining if he would consume the pigs’ dinner.

While he was still a long way off, his father saw him approach on foot; he then ran gaily off, rejoicing, as he rambled about, in the hope of being at home again in a day or two. The boy was welcomed home very cordially by his father, who rang the bell to call for Hill, one of the servants. ‘Quick sharp, now! Fetch a coat, shoes, and kill the fatted calf – yes, the LongHourne. Invite the villagers, and let there be dancing in the ballroom!’ And he gave him a fine gold ring.

Happy for all his paternal feelings was that day. ‘I bare my young son no ill will, and do not resent his behaviour as any affront. We thought him dead, but he is alive. I wish him joy.’

And what ensued? I leave it to yourself to determine.