UK No 1 hit singles of the 1970s

‘He’s asked me for everything I own,’ said the farmer. ‘He’s a sad sweet dreamer, but I said to him “I can’t give you anything except all kinds of everything”. I asked “When will I see you again?” but he had no answer. How can I be sure I will survive? Bye bye baby!’

       

‘I was born under a wand’rin’ star, in the summertime,’ explained Vincent. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ Off he went with his cash, to spend some seasons in the sun down on Devil Gate Drive, near the Yellow River.

       

He thought the summer nights would last forever and ever, but the name of the game is night fever, and even though he was up town top ranking, this bohemian rhapsody ended.

       

He met a few friends: Grandad Ernie, Amazing Grace, Baby Jump and Billy Don’tbeahero, but oh boy, they left and the son was lonely this Christmas. He had to take one day at a time. He’d hoped to look after the combine harvester but tended pigs; he had a jealous mind for the pods. But all he had to eat was mouldy old dough. He decided to knock three times, but the pigs grunted in reply ‘I hear you knocking’.

       

The Spirit in the sky said ‘Hold me close, I’m always yours, love me for a reason and give a little love.’ He realised ‘You won’t find another fool like me: I’m the son of my father; I shall tell him “you’re the one that I want”.’

       

The father said to himself ‘I’m still waiting.’ He saw him when he was on his way back home and gave him a band of gold (free), said ‘Don’t go breaking my heart; welcome home; make me smile (no charge), coz I luv you! I thought it was a tragedy, but now he’s got bright eyes. Merry Xmas everybody!’

Everything I own Ken Boothe 1974 • Sad sweet Dreamer Sweet Sensation 74 • Can’t give you anything Stylistics 75 • All kinds of Everything Mary Hopkin 70 • When will I see you again? Three Degrees 74 • How can I be sure? David Cassidy 72 • I will survive Gloria Gaynor 79 • Bye Bye Baby Bay City Rollers 75

       

Wand’rin’ Star Lee Marvin 70 • In the Summertime Mungo Jerry 70 • Vincent Don McLean 72 • I don’t want to talk about it Rod Stewart 77 Seasons in the Sun Terry Jacks 74 • Devil Gate Drive Suzi Quatro 74 • Yellow River Christie 70

       

Summer Nights John Travolta & Olivia Newton John 78 • Forever & Ever Slik 76 • The Name of the Game Abba 77 • Night Fever Bee Gees 78 • Up Town Top Ranking Althia & Donna 78 • Bohemian Rhapsody Queen 75

       

Grandad Clive Dunn 71 • Ernie Benny Hill 71 • Amazing Grace The Pipes and Drums and Military Band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards 72 • Baby Jump Mungo Jerry 71 • Billy Don’t be a Hero Paper Lace 74 • Oh boy Mud 75 • Lonely this Christmas Mud 74 One Day at a time Lena Martell 79 • Combine Harvester The Wurzels 76 • Jealous Mind Alvin Stardust 74 • Mouldy old Dough Lieutenant Pigeon 72 • Knock three times Dawn 71 • I hear you knocking Dave Edmunds 70

       

Spirit in the Sky Norman Greenbaum 70 • Hold me close David Essex 75 • Always Yours Gary Glitter 74 • Love me for a reason The Osmonds 74 • Give a little love Bay City Rollers 75

       

You won’t find another fool like me The New Seekers 74 • Son of my father Chicory Tip 72 • You’re the one that I want John Travolta & Olivia Newton John 78

       

I’m still waiting Diana Ross 71 • Back Home England World Cup Squad 70 • Band of gold Freda Payne 70 • Free Deniece Williams 77 • Don’t go Breaking my Heart Elton John & Kiki Dee 76 • Welcome home Peters and Lee 73 • Make me Smile Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel 75 • No Charge JJ Barrie 76 • Coz I luv you Slade 71 • Tragedy Bee Gees 79 • Bright Eyes Art Garfunkel 79 • Merry Xmas Everybody! Slade 73

UK No 1 hit singles of the 1960s

‘Please don’t tease me, give me what’s due and I’ll be glad all over,’ said the younger of the two little Boys. ‘These boots are made for walkin’, right?’ he asked.

       

The father knew he’d have to let the heartaches begin. And one sunny afternoon, shakin’ all over, the father said ‘Go now; I can’t stop loving you. Baby, come back! We can work it out.’

      

So the bachelor boy took his cash and did something stupid, thinking he was king of the road. It’s not unusual (I heard it through the grapevine).

       

All or nothing: soon he had nothing. Hunger struck; ‘Sugar, sugar’ he cried.

      

He longed for the wonderful land his father tilled, and eventually had to surrender.

       

He was a whiter shade of pale as he set out on Blackberry Way, thinking he could walk right back to the green green grass of home.

       

He was walking back to happiness, having decided to get back. ‘Anyone who had a heart would accept me as a servant’, he thought.

       

But while he was still a long way off, his father shed tears.

       

‘Where do you go to, my lovely?’ he shouted as he ran up to his son. ‘Congratulations: I want to hold your hand,’ he said, but ended up hugging him.

       

‘It’s over,’ he whispered, as he gave him shoes, a coat and a ring.

       

He greeted his son, despatched the calf and confirmed the boy’s sonship: ‘Hallo, Goodbye. I got you babe.’

       

The son confirmed ‘I’m alive!’

Please Don’t Tease Cliff Richard and the Shadows 1960 • Glad all over Dave Clark Five 64 • Two Little Boys Rolf Harris 69 • These Boots are Made for Walkin’ Nancy Sinatra 66 •

       

Let the heartaches begin Long John Baldry 67 • Sunny Afternoon · The Kinks 66 • Shakin’ all over Johnny Kidd and the Pirates 60 • Go Now Moody Blues 65 • I can’t stop loving you Ray Charles 62 • Baby come back Equals 68 • We can work it out Beatles 65

      

Bachelor boy Cliff Richard and the Shadows 63 • Something Stupid Nancy Sinatra 67 • King of the Road Roger Miller 65 • It’s not unusual Tom Jones 65 • I heard it through the grapevine Marvin Gaye 69

       

All or nothing Small faces 66 • Sugar Sugar Archies 69

       

Wonderful Land The Shadows 62 • Surrender Elvis Presley 61

       

Whiter Shade of Pale Procal Harum 67 • Blackberry Way Move 69 • Walk Right Back Everly Brothers 61 • Green, Green Grass of Home Tom Jones 66

       

Walkin’ Back to Happiness Helen Shapiro 61 • Get Back Beatles with Billy Preston 69 • Anyone who had a Heart Cilla Black 64

       

Tears Ken Dodd 65

       

Where do you go to My Lovely? Peter Sarstedt 69 • Congratulations Cliff Richard 68 • I want to Hold your Hand Beatles 63 • It’s Over Roy Orbison 64

       

Hallo, Goodbye Beatles 67 • I Got You, Babe Sonny & Cher 65

       

I’m Alive Hollies 65

UnOrIEntAlly sUbcOntInEntAl

vowels in omegapsi-ical order

‘Thus, gold is easy,’ quoting each unorientally ugly coin, Ed was humbly told.

‘This extra turn-on I’ll spend,’ and unto City he walks.

But to ideals: up to fill’d/eat/drunk/rowdy/kissed… hard-up. Oh, his dear duos find eau going east.

Hungry folk. 

His earplugs do ring: ‘Eat thus of pig’s eggy a-quoited mash? But old hireds (dad’s)’ – tut – ‘do dine amply.’

Run of life; a-hug, shod, kiss, enwrap… button it!

‘Eat subcontinental rump! Or ingest hash! Up, down (his search). Bury boy? I grew sad – uncomplimentary – but now I’m really up! Loving the lad!’

Turn around

PLOT: rebirth – and if this story isn’t about that, then it isn’t about anything at all

Frustrated, self-indulgent son took his inheritance and wasted it in wild living.

When the money was all gone, and famine struck the land, he took a job tending pigs. He longed to eat the pods with which his pigs were fed when he had a revelation and came to his senses.

He realized he’d been a selfish, indulgent waster. He considered thus: ‘My father’s hired men get better treatment than I now face, so I shall repent of my sin and go home and ask my father for a job as a hired man. I’m no longer worthy to be called a son.’

He made his way, but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him, welcomed him and threw a party to celebrate his repentant, reborn son.

‘This my son was lost, and is found; he was dead and is alive again!’

Confused with other scriptures

One of a dozen offspring went to find his share of the portion, which was stuck by its horns in a thicket. He carried it home rejoicing, but fell among robbers, who took all his money and left him for dead.

Famine struck, and he went off to feed pigs and sent evil spirits into them so that they ran off the edge of a cliff. He longed to fill his stomach with seeds that fell among thorns, or with thorns that fell among robbers. 

He came to his senses and said to himself ‘Ninety and nine are safe, I shall go to my father and tell him I am no longer worthy to sow seed where the birds of the air swoop and feast themselves and the lilies of the field reap and spin and neither do they sow. And all their neighbours with them.’

But while he was still a long way off, his Priest and his Levite passed by, and Lo! they were sore afraid. But his father spake unto him, saying ‘Fear not, I bring you tidings of great abundance.’ And the glory of the Lord shone round about them.

He gave him a ring for his finger and agreed to make him a good and faithful servant and soil for the hundredfold.

‘This my son might have passed through the eye of a needle, but when I return I will reap what I have sowed, pay more if more is owed and provide shoes for his feet; and the fatted calf for the sheep, the birds and the Samaritans.’ What?

fAcEtIOUsly gAmblE-Ill-wrOUght

vowels in alphabetical order

‘Have i gold? Glum and evil young Albert (if your father wills, you have it!) grows up abstemious… cash be in your hands.’

Exit young famed into ugly affection untamed.

In hours, (gamble-ill-wrought) wad spent. It’s blown.

Unsaved, ill or hurt, all weight-loss unhalted. It’s not fun. And we find youth attending hogs, unhappy.

Ends: ‘I know!’ – quake in soul – ‘dad’s men: pious hands – fed. Idylls for us all! Their pods (ugh! – annelidous [1]) ate I foully.’

And he did roundly amble into humbly-gate, in long rut…

Saw he his boy: rush and get ring (gold stuff) and jerkin! Oh, bull’s arrest, spit-oft-turn all.

‘We – I – thought Albert in ground. Dances might go up, and legs,’ I thought, facetiously, ‘are in, out, – are in, out – shake it ‘bout!’

[1] riddled with worms