Christian Vegetarian Society

A son took his father’s money and went far away, where he spent it all on nut cutlets, bean stew, lentil soup, falafel and soda bread, as well as gambling and loose women.

Soon all the money was gone and he was hungry, as there was also a famine in the land. He was at such a low ebb that he even took a job looking after some of those delightful creations Sus scrofa domesticus, known as pigs – cruelly held in captivity, abused with rotting vegetables. His hunger made him envy the pigs’ food, but he respected their inalienable rights and refrained from eating.

He decided to go home, where even the hired men were given corn, alfalfa and couscous. He set off, planning a speech about not being worthy to be called a son. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him, and ran to kiss him. He gave him a gold ring, a coat and fabric shoes for his feet. He threw a party, featuring matted half [1] -quorn-half-soya casserole, plus tofu, mung beans, polenta, jacket potatoes, vegeburgers, quinoa, and rennet-free cheese.

‘This my son was lost but is found; he was dead but is alive again!’

[1] Jesus uses an expression to kill the fatted calf, but please remember: a) this was a story, and no animal died; b) the expression symbolises merrymaking and celebration. If one uses the phrase ‘to kill two birds with one stone’ no one expects any of our feathered friends to be harmed. It is quite clear that Jesus is definitely not endorsing any form of factory farming