Counselling session

‘Just relax, take a few deep breaths, and find your happy place... Now, what seems to be the trouble?’

‘Well, my father gave me my share of the inheritance, so that started it all off, really.’

‘He just handed it to you?’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘What, one midsummer’s morning?’

‘As it happened, yes.’

‘H’mm, well, that’s not quite... perhaps I should be more precise in the way I express myself. Did your father make the suggestion in the first place?’

‘Well, yes, but only after I’d asked.’

‘I see.’

‘Well, that’s it doc. What do you think?’

‘H’mm. I think you should tell me more.’

‘What’s to tell? I took the money, and a little while later it was all gone. Girls, parties, dinners, entertainment – you know the sort of thing.’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Strip clubs, casinos, make-overs, tailoring…’

‘What else?’

‘Recreational substances…’

‘Anything else?’

‘Abortions are expensive.’

‘I see.’

‘I’m not proud of what I did, you know.’

‘I understand.’

‘And then the famine started, and everyone was suffering. I was one of the lucky ones, as I got a job. It wasn’t much of a job, looking after pigs, but at least I could go indoors when it was necessary.’

‘Indoors?’

‘In the sty. It got so bad in terms of food that I even considered eating some of the garbage that was being fed to the pigs.’

‘Did you?’

‘I seriously considered it, but I didn’t. I came to my senses.’

‘Sorry, you did what?’

‘I came to my senses.’

‘I’m not sure I understand.’

‘I had a revelation. I suddenly realized…’

‘A revelation? What do you mean, precisely?’

‘It was as if I grasped the situation perfectly all of a sudden.’

‘How could this be?’

‘I can only really put it down to God.’

‘Ah.’

‘What?’

‘Nothing. Carry on.’

‘No, you think I’m soft in the head or something, believing in God.’

‘Whatever helps you understand your id is fine. So long as you are comfortable.’

‘God doesn’t make me comfortable. Far from it.’

‘Then why believe in him?’

‘You can’t just pick and choose who or what you going to believe in; especially when he provides you with a life-saving revelation!’

‘And you genuinely believe that is what happened?’

‘I really do! I had a revelation and decided to humble myself.’

‘To do what?’

‘To humble myself, doc. I decided to go back to my father and say sorry and ask him to…’

‘We may be getting towards something here.’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Something that may take many sessions of counseling to unravel.’

‘I don’t want to unravel it. There’s no conundrum or problem in my mind at all. I heard from God and obeyed him, humbling myself. No fun, but it worked.’

‘This is extraordinary! Low esteem, deity-fantasy, inferiority complex, father-fixation… classic!’

‘You think humbling myself before my father is a symptom of a problem, doc?’

‘But of course!’

‘It’s not a symptom; it was the solution to my over-inflated ego, pride, greed, selfishness and sloth…’

‘Hah! Such out-moded terms you use! I haf not heard such terms since ze days of my studyink in Heidelburg!’

‘Well, any… I never realized you were originally from the Fatherland?’

‘Ja, ja; but, never mind me, you were telling me about your trip home to see your father. How did he react when you were so humiliated?’

‘I said humbled. There is a difference.’

‘If you think so. Then shall we say – embarrassed?’

‘Humbled. But as it happens, he didn’t really let me. As soon as…’

‘Very wise man…’

‘As soon as he saw me coming, he ran to me and hugged me and kissed me and told his servants to fetch gifts for me – this ring and that coat, and these shoes, look.’

‘Very nice. But perhaps not up on the upholstery of the couch, if you don’t mind…’ 

‘Oh, sorry, yes. And he threw a party with roast beef and dancing.’

‘Ooh, more partying, you say? Very interesting. So do you associate partying with love?’

‘When that’s what they signify, yes! This party was a true expression of genuine fatherly love, while the drunken revels were a false, empty nothingness of excess and abandon.’

‘I see. Let me just reflect that back to you, to make sure I’ve understood you – you say alcohol and girls makes a party devoid of meaning, while roast beef and shoes make it real, huh? Is speaks to me of a dangerous connection being made in your psyche between genuine familial affection and the slaughter of cattle for food or leather…’

‘No, no. The point is, my old Dad was very happy. He said “My son was lost but is found; was dead and is alive again!” Pretty good, eh?’

‘And he was speaking of…?’

‘Of me, of course!’

‘Of you? In what ways were you dead, do you feel? Dead mentally? Emotionally? Psychologically? Ah! Our time is all gone. We shall have to continue this in your next session…’

‘Okay, doc.’

‘Please speak to my assistant on your way out, and she will make a series of appointments so that you can continue your course of therapy. Perhaps I could suggest three times a week for the next six months, at least, to begin with, to try to work out the initial stages of how to procede in the longer term.’

‘Do you really think that’s necessary?’

‘If you want to be well.’

‘Am I all that disturbed, then?’

‘Based on what you have said today, I think you need… as much help as you can get. Sadly our time is up; I have another client waiting…’

‘Oh, yes, of course. Thank you, doc.’