I've been a spanner

VIEWPOINT: Son

At the time, it didn't seem all that unreasonable. I was bored with working on the farm and bored with being the youngest son. All the rotten jobs came my way, it seemed. So I asked dad to give me my share of the inheritance. I was a bit surprised when he gave it to me, but I quickly got ready and left, before he could change his mind.

I went to a foreign country, where the women were willing and the wine was heady. Friends gathered around, and helped me spend the cash. There was plenty of it, and we had a great time. I can’t sit here and pretend it was dull in any way. No, I had a great time. But eventually, the money ran out and so did the ‘friends’.

Disaster! The whole country was overtaken by famine, and suddenly I wasn’t just hard up – I was hungry and hopeless. I got a job working with filthy pigs, feeding them the rotting swill that wasn’t fit even for starving people to eat. But I was so low myself that I even considered eating these foul vegetables.

Right there in the sty, I had a revelation from God. I came to my senses, and realised that I could have been at home, a respected member of the family, with food on the table and love all around. Even dad’s hired men get a decent dinner each night, and here I was, starving to death! So I decided I should lay down my pride and go home. I planned my speech really carefully. ‘Father,’ I was going to say, ‘I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me one of your servants, if you’ll allow me back onto the property after the shameful way I’ve treated you.’

I made my way back to the old farm. I was still a long way off when, suddenly, there was dad, running at me for all he was worth! He grabbed me and kissed me. I started to give my speech, but he didn’t seem to want to hear it. He arranged for shoes and a coat, and he put the family ring on my finger. He called his servants and ordered that the calf be slaughtered and that a party should be organised.

We had a fine old time. Dad was so pleased to have me back. He’s been certain that I was dead and was thrilled to bits that I was alive and at home.