Dramatis personae[1]: Father, Son, friends, servants. Father has an annis horribilis[2], as his son’s agenda[3] starts with demands for a priori[4] inheritance ex gratia[5]. ‘Caveat emptor[6]: it’ll spoilt your Curriculum Vitae[7],’ he warns.
His son, however, was thinking about the benefits of irresponsibility. ‘Quid pro quo[8].’
As the son leaves, ad hoc[9], for terra incognita[10], his father wonders ‘Quo vadis?[11]’
‘Ξένος ὢν ἀκολούθει τοῖς ἐπιχωρίοις νόμοις[12],’ reckons the son as he spends circa[13] £5000 per diem[14] in Dissipation City. ‘Vene vidi vici[15], either pro tempore[16] or ad infinitum[17].’ Sic transit gloria mundi[18].
Erratum[19]: in flagrante delecto[20] he spends the last of the cash, lacking alibi[21]. Tempus fugit[22]; he finds a job tending pigs. Prima facie[23]: ‘Φοβοῦ τοὺς Δαναοὺς καὶ δῶρα φέροντας[24], he says to himself, under his breath, in an affidavit[25]. De profundis[26], he longs to eat the pods (ipso facto[27] rotting ad nauseam[28]). His thoughts turn somewhat glum; memento mori[29], he feels sub peona[30] of guilt and loneliness. Then (opus dei[31]) he comes to his senses and takes a private vox populi[32] poll. ‘Carpe deum[33]!’ he cries (this is a verbatim[34] account) and then ‘Εὕρηκα[35]’ Far from deus ex machina[36], he remembers his father’s hired men have plenty to eat. ‘Κύριε ἐλέησον[37] – I am no longer worthy to be called a son in veritas[38]. I’ll be a worker emeritus[39].’
Meanwhile, still in situ[40] with uberrima fides[41], Dad was reprising his role in loco parentis[42]. He ran, via[43] the stairs, to greet him, festina lente[44]. While he was entitled to berate his son ‘Note bene[45]: Volente non fit injuria[46]!’, he demonstrated instead that his love was semper fidelis[47] (which was a massive non sequitor[48]) with pro forma[49] gifts, inter alia[50], of a coat, shoes, a ring et cetera[51] and killing the fatted calf in toto[52], et al[53].
‘Pax vobiscum[54]!’ father said. He invited guests to attend a party, ad lib[55]. ‘Floreat peur[56]! We called, in extremis[57], for habeus corpus[58], fearing rigor mortis[59]. Ecco homo[60]! We had this gravestone carved: In Memoriam[61]; requiescat in pace[62]. But this (nil desperandum[63]!) was a post script[64] we didn’t expect – the status quo[65] is restored! Worship, magna cum laude[66] to the Lord!’
[1] dramatis personae cast [2] annis horribilis bad year [3] agenda items for discussion [4] a priori first [5] ex gratia free gift [6] caveat emptor let the buyer beware [7] curriculum vitae life’s contents
[8] quid pro quo fair exchange
[9] ad hoc spontaneously [10] terra incognita unknown land [11] quo vadis where are you going? (Whither goest thou?)
[12] Ξένος… when in Rome, do as the Romans do [13] circa about [14] per diem per day [15] Vene vidi vici I came I saw I conquered [16] pro tempore for the time being [17] ad infinitum for ever [18] sic transit gloria mundi thus passes the world’s glory
[19] erratum mistake [20] in flagrante delecto red-handed [21] alibi elsewhere [22] tumpus fugit time flees [23] Prima facie at first glance [24] Φοβοῦ… beware of Greeks bearing gifts [25] affidavit sworn statement [26] de profundis out of misery [27] ipso facto in fact [28] ad nauseam sickmaking [29] memento mori remember mortality [30] sub peona under a penalty [31] opus dei work of God [32] vox populi voice of the folk [33] carpe deum seize the day [34] verbatim full transcript [35] Εὕρηκα (eureka) found it [36] deus ex machina contrived solution [37] Κύριε… (kyrie eleison) Lord have mercy [38] in veritas truth [39] emeritus honoured veteran
[40] in situ in place [41] uberrima fides with the utmost good faith [42] in loco parentis in the parents’ place [43] via by way of [44] festina lente hurrying slowly [45] note bene note well [46] volente non fit injuria you consented to the risk, so don’t complain (it’s your own fault) [47] semper fidelis always faithful [48] non sequitor doesn’t follow [49] pro forma procedure [50] inter alia among others [51] et cetera and other, similar items [52] in toto completely [53] et al and others
[54] pax vobiscum peace to you [55] ad lib unrehearsed [56] floreat peur may the boy flourish [57] in extremis in death [58] habeus corpus show the body [59] rigor mortis stiffness of death [60] ecce homo behold the man [61] in memoriam in memory [62] requiescat in pace rest in peace [63] nil desperandum never despair [64] post script afterword [65] status quo existing state [66] magna cum laude great praise
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