‘Last time I asked, you said no to me. Obviously, I know you’ll be faithful to me when you pass on, because the promise of inheriting is unbreakable. But so far, I’ve never had a dream come true, so it's now or never. I’m going to leave right now.
‘You know there’ll be no more money for you,’ his father said, ‘even if you come back?’
‘Yeah.’
‘H’mm. This is a bit of a dilemma. My life would suck without you, but I want to bless you. So, what I’ll do is pay you in 7 days…’
‘No, tomorrow! Let’s have a little less conversation. You’ll be running the farm without me.’
‘Circumstances may suffer changes, but relationships don’t. Lieutenant of this farm, you were going to be… so, where will you go?’
‘Dissipation City, that's my Goal! I’ll be OK!’
You think I can’t see through this sham? Er, I can, boy…’
But off he went (‘I’m gonna be 500 miles away’), walking day & night, having stopped to ask Is this the way to Amarillo?
Soon he reached the city and proceeded to do somethin' stupid as if he was bonkers, locating the red light district, known as the Independent Women part.
One of the many very beautiful liars told him where he could find (to begin with) a sexy chick (Grace), Kelly, an angel (well, more than a woman), Mandy (a nasty girl), an uptown girl, some beautiful girls and a mysterious girl with five colours in her hair (she was probably colourblind). Where is the love?
She said these words ‘Oh, it feels so good. You’re my hero, pure and simple.’
‘I bet you look good on the dancefloor!’
‘It’s a mad world around here, where anything is possible.’
‘Slow down boys and girls, it wasn’t me…’
These are all the things she said.
‘I gotta feeling of déjà vu,’ the boy said, ‘but I gotta get thru this. I kissed a girl one night, and you’re beautiful!’
His money ran out and a famine struck (killing in the name of hunger) all summer long. Everyone had to evacuate the dancefloor, as it was the masses against the classes. Sometimes you can't make it on your own, so a little while later, he got a crazy job where he had to get too close to some pigs, who were fed on baby cakes of rotting vegetation. It was nasty to breathe the air; even the maggots don’t stop movin’, trying to find edible parts.
‘This is so sick. Nobody could be a freak like me. I am hungry and lonely,’ he said. ‘If I were a boy working at my father’s farm, I’d have enough to eat when the sun goes down.’
The spirit in the sky spoke to him for a moment; like this: Go home! He said ‘I shall stop living the lie, arise and go to my father and say “Oops… I did it again, sorry (h’mm, sorry seems to be the hardest word). You see, the trouble with me is that I can’t get you out of my head. Call on me as a hired man. I’m lucky to be a survivor of the famine, but the fear of my sweet lord came to shine on me. I will never be the same again; take me on, please. My loneliness is growing stronger, but can we fix it?”’
Repenting means spinning around (right round) and going the other way, determined to be faithful everytime.
While he was still a long way off, (beyond the crossroads), his father saw him on the climb up the long and winding road, coming ever closer. His patience had paid off; he knew had been absolutely right to tell himself ‘Don’t give up.’
‘Baby’s coming back!’ he cried, running to greet him. Breathless, they hugged (kiss kiss).
The boy started to speak ‘I’ve been a fool again…’ but his dad said ‘Don’t! Stop! Me now: any one of us – stupid mistake… I don’t wanna know; never gonna leave your side, my love – I’ll stand by you. Dry your eyes.’
He started to give our hero a ruby ring, an umbrella and, as he said ‘We must bring you some shoes, since your feet are bleeding, love. Then you’ll be able to walk this way. What took you so long?’
‘Mercy! All these wonderful, expensive gifts…’ began the lad. ‘Love don’t cost a thing,’ his father answered. ‘This is the greatest day – the eternal flame burns when you believe.
‘Now, go and fetch Daisy the fatted calf, light my fire and then –’ he made a viscious slashing action across his throat ‘– oopsy Daisy because she was born to make you happy. If you can’t eat it all, bag it up.
‘And we can have black coffee, since it’s chic. O, time for you to take a bow – yes, it’s all about you! Let’s dance – Mambo No 5 (with a little help from my friends – just a little!)
‘Daisy’s carcass dripped fat into the flames but we damped it down, so now she’s ex on fire. Let’s have a pina colada or a pink lady. Marmalade on toast is lovely.
‘Or some other goodies: beef, wine, absinthe, ketchup, son!
‘Good news, we’re taking a holiday, for this my son was lost but against all odds is found – what a beautiful day! I’m not alone here at my place (don’t change everything, though!) You bring me to life, and you raise me up – what a wonderful world!
‘If you’re not the one of my sons who was dead, but is whole again, then I’m a chinaman; here’s a note from my mother Elfrida:
Welcome home to the same old brand new you.
love, Grandma x.
‘Elfreda’s always had a particularly soft spot for you, you know.
‘Hallelujah!
Stan Eminem 2000 • Smile Lily Allen 06
You said No Busted 03 • Obviously McFly 06 • Be Faithful Fatman Scoop/Crooklyn Clan 03 • The Promise Girls Aloud 08 • Unbreakable Westlife 02 • Never had a Dream come True S Club 7 00 • It’s Now or Never Elvis Presley 05 • Leave Right Now Will Young 03
If you Come Back Blue 01
Yeah Usher Feat. Lil’ Jon & Ludacris 04
Dilemma Nelly Feat. Kelly Rowland 02 • My Life would Suck without You Kelly Clarkson 09 • So What Pink 08 • 7 Days Craig David 00 •
No Tomorrow Orson 06 • A Little Less Conversation Elvis vs JXL 02 • Without Me Eminem 02
Changes Ozzie & Kelly Osbourne 03 • Hips don’t Lie Shakira Feat. Wyclef Jean 06
That’s my Goal Shane Ward 05 • I’ll be OK McFly 05
American Boy Estelle feat. Kanye West 08
I’m Gonna Be 500 Miles The Proclaimers feat. Brian Potter & Andy Pipkin 07 • Is this the Way to Amarillo? Tony Christie feat. Peter Kay 05
Somethin’ Stupid Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman 01 • Bonkers Dizzee Rascal & Armand Van Helden 08 • Independent Women Part One Destiny’s Child 00
Beautiful Liars Beyonce & Shakira 07 • Sexy Chick David Guetta feat. Akon 09 • Grace Kelly Mika 07 • Angel Shaggy feat. Rayvon 01 • More than a Woman Aaliyah 08 • Mandy Westlife 03 • Nasty Girl Nelly, Jagged Edge & Avery Storm 06 • Uptown Girl Westlife 01 • Beautiful Girls Sean Kingston 07 • Mysterious Girl Peter Andre 04 • Five colours in her Hair McFly 04 • Colourblind Darius 02 • Where is the Love? Black Eyed Peas 08
These Words Natasha Bedingfield 04 • It Feels So Good Sonique 00 • Hero Enrique Igesias 02 • Pure and Simple Hear’Say 01
I Bet you Look Good on the Dancefloor Arctic Monkeys 05
Mad World Michael Andrews feat. Gary Jules 03 • Anything is Possible Will Young 02
Slow Kylie Minogue 03 • Boys and Girls Pixie Lott 09 • It Wasn’t Me Shaggy feat. Rikrok 01
All the Things She Said Tatu 03
I Gotta Feeling Black Eyed Peas 09 • Déjà vu Beyonce feat. Jay‑Z 06 • Gotta Get Thru This Daniel Bedingfield 02 • I Kissed a Girl Katy Perry 08 • One Night Elvis Presley 05 • You’re Beautiful James Blunt 05
Killing in the Name Rage Against the Machine 09 • All Summer Long Kid Rock 08 • Evacuate the Dancefloor Cascada 09 • The Masses Against the Classes Manic Street Preachers 00 • Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own U2 05 • Crazy Gnarls Barkley 06 • Too Close Blue 01 • Babycakes 3 Of A Kind 04 • Breathe Blue Cantrell feat. Sean Paul 03 • Don’t Stop Movin’ S Club 7 01
Freak Like Me Sugababes 02 • Lonely Akon 05 • If I were a Boy Beyonce 08 • When the Sun Goes Down Artcic Monkeys 06
Spirit in the Sky Gareth Gates feat. The Kumars 03 • A Moment Like This Leona Lewis 06 • Stop Living the Lie David Sneddon 03 • Rise Gabrielle 00 • Oops… I Did it Again Britney Spears 00 • Sorry Madonna 06 • Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word Blue feat. Elton John 02 • You See the Trouble with Me Black Legend 00 • I Can’t Get You Out of my Head Kylie Minogue 01 • Call on me Eric Prydz 04 • Survivor Destiny’s Child 01 • The Fear Lily Allen 09 • My Sweet Lord George Harrison 02 • Shine Take That 07 • Never Be the Same Again Melanie C/Lisa Left Eye Lopes 00 • Take On Me A1 00 • Loneliness Tomcraft 03 • Stronger Kanye West 07 • Can We Fix it? Bob the Builder 00
Spinning Around Kylie Minogue 00 • Right Round Flo Rida feat. Kesha 09 • Be Faithful Fatman Scoop/Crooklyn Clan 03 • Everytime Britney Spears 04
Crossroads Blazin’ Squad 02 • The Climb Joe McElderry 09 • The Long and Winding Road Will Young & Gareth Gates 02 Closer Ne-Yo 08 • Patience Take That 06 • Don’t Give Up Chicane/Bryan Adams
Baby’s Coming Back McFly 07 • Run Leona Lewis 08 • Breathless The Corrs 00 • Kiss Kiss Holly Valance 02
Fool Again Westlife 00 Don’t Stop Me Now McFly 06 • Anyone Of Us Stupid Mistake Gareth Gates 02 • I don’t Wanna Know Mario Winans feat. Enya & P Diddy 04 • Never Gonna Leave your Side Daniel Bedingfield • My Love Westlife 00 • I’ll Stand by You Girls Aloud 04 • Dry Your Eyes Streets 04
Ruby Kaiser Chiefs 07 • Umbrella Rihanna 07 • Bleeding Love Leona Lewis 07 • Walk This Way Sugababes vs Girls Aloud 07 • What Took You So Long? Emma Bunton 01
Mercy Duffy 08 • Wonderful Ja Rule feat. R Kelly & Ashanti 04 • Love Don’t Cost a Thing Jennifer Lopez 01 • Greatest Day Take That 08 • Eternal Flame Atomic Kitten 01 • When You Believe Leon Jackson 07
Light My Fire Will Young 02 • Oopsy Daisy Chipmunk 09 Born To Make You Happy Britney 00 • Bag it Up Geri Halliwell 00
Black Coffee All Saints 00 • It’s Chico Time! Chico 06 • Take a Bow Rihanna 08 • All About You McFly 05 • Let’s Dance 5ive 01 • Mambo No 5 Bob the Builder 01 • With a Little Help from my Friends Sam & Mark 04 • Just a Little Liberty X 02
Sex On Fire Kings of Leon 08 • Lady Marmalade Christina Aguilera/Lil' Kim/Mya/Pink 01 • Goodies Ciara feat. Petey Pablo 05 • The Ketchup Song Las Ketchup 02
Holiday Dizzee Rascal 09 • Against All Odds Mariah Carey & Westlife 00 • Beautiful Day U2 00 • I’m Not Alone Calvin Harris 09 • My Place Nelly 04 • Don’t Cha Pussycat Dolls feat. Busta Rhymes 05 • Bring Me to Life Evanescence 03 • You Raise Me Up Westlife 05 • What a Wonderful World Eva Cassidy & Katie Melua 07
If You’re Not the One Daniel Bedingfield 02 • Whole Again Atomic Kitten 01 • Same Old Brand New You A1 00 • Axel F Crazy Frog 05 • Halleujah Alexandra Burke 08
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